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“An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions” is the definition of compromise. Lately this is something that I have been struggling with, as it relates to my career and my personal life. I rarely share details about my personal life but at times I feel it is necessary; this is one of those times. My husband and I have had numerous conversations, sometimes arguments, about the balance of time for my career and our relationship.

For those who know me, know that I give a 110 percent to whatever I do. I like to world hard and unless I am constantly moving and contributing in some way shape or form, I am do not feel fulfilled. Some may call that being a workaholic but I think its being passion. When did working hard to be successful become negative?

At one point my husband felt that I work so much that I was not fully invested in our relationship. He also expressed concern that since I am HIV+, I should allow myself to rest more. Well the challenge was, how was I supposed to achieve my career and personal goals and still be invested in my relationship without feeling as though I was settling? I have always been very ambitious and driven. I know what I want to accomplish and in what time frame I want it accomplished. I didn’t want my career to suffer or my relationship but the truth was that I did not know how to balance. Yes I have been in relationships before but they were with men who were even more driven than me so to be with someone who not only wanted to invest in our relationship but wanted me to as well as an equal was foreign to me.

I had to understand where my husband was coming from. Yes my career was very important to me but I had to realize that my husband is my family now and that he should be a priority. If I expect him to cater to my needs and be supportive of me, I have to do the same for him. Sometimes this means not responding to an email once I am home, not taking a call or simply catering to his needs and wants and making him feel like he is my husband.

But also my husband had to be honest with himself and acknowledge that fact that he wanted someone who was not as career driven as I am. He wanted a husband who would take on the traditional roles of a “woman”. He wanted to be the provider. Hearing this from him made me realize how many times we as gay men still try impose hetero-normative roles in our relationships and forget that we are both two men who have very similar desires.

My husband and I had to learn three very key components for any relationship; respect, communication and compromise. In my opinion the hardest of the three is compromise and there is a huge different between compromising and settling. It’s difficult to find compromise as a couple but at some point the two individuals have to reach a point of balance within the relationship. And they have to learn to do so without resenting the other person. We can’t be naive to the fact that these concessions will be difficult and that someone may even feel as though they are settling but once they learn to get past emotions the couple is open to a whole new level of love and respect.

 

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NovaSalud, Inc.’s Open That Closet Door Fashion Show Featuring the Style of Juan Jose Saenz and the Beauty of Persons Living With and Affected by HIV at The Mansion on O Street at 2020 O Street NW, Washington, DC 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. August 16, 2014.  It is exciting that I will be walking in the fashion show alongside other persons I work with in community. 

Purchase your tickets today by clicking HERE !!!
The Mansion at O Street famously prides itself on eclectic and interesting events. The Mansion boasts over 100 rooms with over 70 hidden doors, many of them closets. Guests are encouraged to tour the house and find the hidden doors. Bringing the closet theme to dovetail both with the common reference to the LGBT community, it doubles as a nod to Juan Jose Saenz’s fashion, with the call to ‘Open That Closet Door’.
 
This exciting event supports NovaSalud Inc.’s efforts to provide HIV prevention services to high risk and under-served populations in Northern Virginia, Washington DC, and Maryland. In addition to HIV testing and prevention services, NovaSalud, Inc. also offers programs to empower and educate the LGBT community, specifically transgender, young gay males, high risk heterosexuals, and HIV education to youth at the high school levels in the school setting.
 
Hor d’oeuvres and a dessert bar will be provided with admission. Cash bar will be available.
 
A ticket auction with over $13,000 in prizes will accompany the event!
 
We look forward to seeing you at the event!! Together we can reduce the stigma of HIV

Originally posted on TIME:

Once HIV invades the body, it doesn’t want to leave. Every strategy that scientists have developed or are developing so far to fight the virus – from powerful anti-HIV drugs to promising vaccines that target it – suffers from the same weakness. None can ferret out every last virus in the body, and HIV has a tendency to hide out, remaining inert for years, until it flares up again to cause disease.

None, that is, until now. Kamel Khalili, director of the Comprehensive NeuroAIDS Center at Temple University School of Medicine, and his colleagues took advantage of a new gene editing technique to splice the virus out of the cells they infected – essentially returning them to their pre-infection state. The strategy relies on detecting and binding HIV-related genetic material, and therefore represents the first anti-HIV platform that could find even the dormant virus sequestered in immune cells.

MORE:

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Meet the 2014-2015 YBGLI Organizing Committee Members

The Young Black Gay Men’s Leadership Initiative continues to grow in a number of different ways. This week, we are excited to announce the addition of four new members of the Organizing Committee or OC: Barry SappNoël Gordon, Leo Moore, MD and Patrick Ingram. Existing OC Members are: Anthony Roberts, JrMatthew Rose, and Christopher Shannon. The 2014-2015 Executive Committee officers are: Blake Rowley – Chair, Dashawn Usher – Vice Chair and Marvell L. Terry, II – SecretaryDaniel Driffin is Chair EmeritusRead YBGLI Chair, Blake Rowley’s “Welcome” blog post to learn more about his vision and plans for the Initiative in the coming year.

 

I am honestly excited about this project and want to see it succeed. Currently, there are no programs that discuss life living with HIV from a protagonist and their point of view.  This is something that we so desperately need to educate more individuals, break down stigma, but most importantly have something that us individuals living with HIV can related to.   Please check out http://www.unsurepositiveseries.com for more information on the project and the kickstarter campaign!

 


fc85e3031fe45518fddd2a7b49360d42_large https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jv4IoRSGvw Real HIV? Nowhere on T.V.! This series will explore many of the issues that affect HIV-positive people as they live on, and stay positive. Unsure/Positive is a Dramedy. What exactly is a Dramedy, you ask? Also known as tragicomedy, comedic drama, seriocomedy, or Unsure/Positive (the Series). Humor and Drama combined! A hybrid! The primary goal of the series is to entertain. Fair warning: we may entertain you *while* raising awareness about life with HIV. In an age of mobile devices, hookup culture, antiretroviral treatments, and the ongoing stigma that resonates with our own societal fears, Unsure/Positive offers a healthy dose of reality, honesty, and humor. You haven’t seen anything like this (because we’re still busy making it happen!) We have a fantastic cast, a baller crew, and we’re itching to get started– so much so that we already shot the first ten pages of our script on July 12th and 13th, 2014– well before securing our Kickstarter funding. The plan? To show you what you’re backing. Our sneak preview can be viewed right here: HIV is no longer a death sentence. That’s (somewhat) common knowledge… so much so that the other complications of living with the disease often get overlooked. The social stigma of an HIV-positive diagnosis is, on its own, a serious ongoing issue for “poz” persons. Unsure/Positive will explore this, and also the variety of situations– stark and mundane– that come up when human beings try to grapple with this complicated disease. With Your Help They Can:

  • Pay our professional director of photography, Ben Proulx (this is the guy in charge of the camera!)
  • Feed our cast and crew for (at least) 8 days (nom-nom!)
  • Pay our awesome, hardworking crewpeoples
  • Cover the cost of liability insurance
  • Secure a U-Haul for equipment pick-up and return
  • Buy cases of water for our set (You don’t know muggy till you’ve been in Boston in August!)
  • Buy a hard-drive on which to save all our footage
  • Buy a second hard-drive. (Just in case!)
  • Work with a professional sound mixer during post production
  • Work with a professional colorist during post production
  • And more!

Thanks in advance for supporting our project. We look forward to bringing you this brand new series very soon!


Unsure/Positive faces the challenge of combating the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS– many people are reluctant to fund the project only because of the negativity associated with these acronyms. One possible risk is that this stigma will undermine our efforts to reach a wide audience. We feel this is an ongoing challenge– but you can bet we’re here to fight the good fight. While stylistically our project is a “single camera” show, much of Unsure/Positive will be shot with two cameras. This means extra crew and personnel to manage the production. Translation: it’s not cheap! (But the good stuff rarely is.) We are very much a grassroots production and support from you, our community, will help make this project a success. Please let us know if you have any questions or concerns, and thank you for your continued support!

thepozlife:

Great news! I can’t wait to see more openly Transgender, Bisexual, Lesbian, and Gay folks (specifically Latino and Black) on television!

Originally posted on TIME:

Homosexuality is not a crime in Turkey, but homophobia is widespread and activists hope to make the country an example of respect towards the LGBT community.

Michelle Demishevich, a prominent LGBT rights activist, is the country’s first transsexual TV reporter. While Turkey’s gay and transgender communities enjoy better rights than their counterparts in most Muslim countries, her achievement is rather unique.

In the video above, reported by the AFP, the activist talks about the fight for LGBT rights in Turkish society.

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The Poz+ Life is so pleased and excited about the followed award.  This shows that collaboration and teamwork can get the job done.  I am so proud of my fellow members Thomas and Adrian for their hard work in such a short time. This includes our guest contributors and hundreds of individuals who shared our materials! Thank you so much supporters, roots, family, and friends!

-Patrick Ingram


 

Screen Shot 2014-07-20 at 5.58.31 PMWASHINGTON, D.C. (July 7, 2014) – The ADAP Advocacy Association, also known as aaa+, today announced the recipients for its 2014 Annual ADAP Leadership Awards, which recognizes individual, community, government, media and corporate leaders who are working to improve access to care and treatment under the AIDS Drug Assistance Programs. The eight leadership awards will be presented during the 4th Annual ADAP Leadership Awards Dinner being held on Monday, August 4th at 7:00 pm in Washington, DC. The dinner will be held in conjunction with its 7th Annual Conference, being held at the Westin Washington DC City Center on August 3-5, 2014.
The 2013-2014 award recipients include:

• ADAP Champion of the Year (individual): Kathie Hiers, AIDS Alabama
• ADAP Emerging Leader of the Year (individual): Wanda Brendle-Moss
• ADAP Corporate Partner of the Year: Ramsell Corporation
• ADAP Community Organization of the Year: Community Education Group
• ADAP Lawmaker of the Year: The Honorable Henry Waxman, M.C. (D-Calif)
• ADAP Social Media Campaign of the Year: The Poz Life by Patrick Ingram
• ADAP Grassroots Campaign of the Year: Moral Mondays
• ADAP Media Story of the Year: Continuing HIV Care for Formerly Incarcerated U.S. Citizens,
by Candace Y.A. Montague, TheBodyDotCom

“With so much uncertainty surrounding the future of the AIDS Drug Assistance Program, it is only fitting to recognize a group of honorees who have worked so tirelessly to improve access to care for people living with HIV/AIDS,” said Brandon M. Macsata, CEO of the ADAP Advocacy Association about the 2013-2014 award recipients. “It is reassuring to know that these individuals will be continuing their advocacy to promote and protect programs, such as ADAP. Our award recognition is a simple gesture of our appreciation!”
To learn more about the ADAP Advocacy Association, its Annual ADAP Leadership Awards, or its Annual Conference, or the, please contact Brandon M. Macsata at info@adapadvocacyassociation.org.
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Check out the original post here!

 

[The ADAP Advocacy Association (aaa+® ) is a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization incorporated in the District of Columbia to promote and enhance the AIDS Drug Assistance Programs (ADAPs) and improve access to care for persons living with HIV/AIDS. aaa+® works with advocates, community, health care, government, patients, pharmaceutical companies and other stakeholders to assure that access to services recognize and afford persons living with HIV/AIDS to enjoy a healthy life.]

Check out the latest video for The Poz Life on Youtube!!!! I will be doing a mini video series of my wedding hopefully giving hope to those who are positive that love and marriage is still a possibility. So please join me on this journey of high, lows, good, bad and crazy lol.

#blacklove #gayblacklove #positivityiseverything #wedding #neilhobson14

 

Thank you to all the men from the R3VNG campaign (with APLA Health and Wellness).

 

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June 27th is National HIV Testing Day (NHTD) and the theme for this year is “Take the Test. Take Control”. In recognition of this observance day, our Black Voices series bloggers answer the question why NHTD is important to them and what is one thing people (or organizations) can do to promote NHTD. Here is what they said:

Why is National HIV Testing Day important to you?

“This month marks my 7th year of living with HIV. I found out I was HIV positive on June 7, 2007 after receiving a positive diagnosis during an attempt to enlist into the United States Army. After I found out I was devastated, but also determined to survive and THRIVE. In order to do this, I knew I needed to manage my HIV and take control of my health. Taking this HIV test was the first step to making sure I remained healthy. Seven years later, I am still healthy with my HIV undetectable.” -Venton

“National HIV Testing Day is important to me because it’s a day that reaffirms the value of routine testing. It reopens the conversation about sexual health and risk to people in communities where either the conversation has fallen off or never been had. National HIV Testing Day becomes a marker, in the year, for many who might not otherwise engage in this type of dialogue.” – Ken

“National HIV Testing Day is important to me because it is an opportunity to know your status. With taking the test, and whatever the test results, you can take the necessary steps to educate yourself on HIV. If you are negative you can take the steps to remain negative (i.e. harm-reduction techniques and PrEP), and if you are positive you can get linked to care (with the goal of viral suppression). The day is also a perfect day to educate others on HIV and really let the community know that this is still an issue we are dealing with.” -Patrick

“NHTD is important because it provides an opportunity to put a face and voice on what HIV looks and sounds like. It’s an opportunity to continue an important conversation about our individual and collective health and wellness and the important work of eradicating stigma.” -Meico

“This day is a national coordinated effort to encourage Americans to get tested for HIV. It gives me a chance to speak with my friends and loved ones about HIV. Additionally, it allows me to support AIDS service organizations in promoting the day and amplifying their messages online.”-Anthony

What is one thing people (or organizations) can do to promote National HIV Testing Day?

“We’re all impacted (directly or indirectly) by HIV. You can help promote NHTD by sharing your story. As appropriate, send a text to your best friend. Call your mom. Chat-up one of your co-workers. Wondering how to start the conversation? Check out these great conversation starters from the CDC.” -Meico

“People and organizations can use social media and their networks to have a conversation about HIV. Ask friends, family, and colleagues if they know their HIV status and help them find a place they can get tested (using the locator.aids.gov website or application of course).” -Patrick

“Social media has been a great tool to help spread the word about the importance of National HIV Testing Day. So many people still do not know their status and it is important for people to be aware and informed about the steps they need to take in order to stay negative or, if positive, to get into care.” -Venton

“Participate. Participate. Participate. National HIV Testing Day for me is about the grassroots process of getting the education out to those who need it. You can also set the example by taking a test and sharing your experience with family members, the faith community and colleagues. It’s really about asking yourself: ‘how can I keep the conversation going?’ ” -Ken

What’s one thing you’re doing to promote National HIV Testing Day?

- See more at: http://blog.aids.gov/2014/06/black-voices-bloggers-on-national-hiv-testing-day-and-social-media.html#sthash.FX8cGSwV.dpuf